Organising a wake: A Guide for You

Losing a loved one is never easy, and when it comes to organising a wake, there are several decisions to make. If you're feeling unsure about how to go about planning a wake, we are here to help. Let's walk through the process together and make sure you create a meaningful event that honours your loved one's memory.

Understanding the purpose of a wake

A wake is a gathering where family, friends and acquaintances come together to pay their respects to the deceased. It typically takes place after a funeral service and is generally a less formal occasion. The purpose of a wake is to provide an opportunity for the bereaved to come together, share stories, memories and celebrate the life of their loved one.

Choosing the right time for the wake

There's no obligation to hold a wake immediately or at all. If you're already overwhelmed with funeral arrangements or if a wake doesn't feel right for you, it's perfectly okay to consider hosting a memorial service at a later date or even opting for no service at all. Remember, the choice you make will be the best one for you and your closest ones.  

Personalising the wake

When it comes to organising a wake, there are no hard and fast rules. You have the freedom to make it as formal or informal as you like. It can be an intimate gathering with just a few close family members or a larger public event. Once you decide on the style and number of guests, you'll be in a better position to choose the venue, catering and decor that align with your preferences.

Selecting the venue

Choosing the right venue is a good starting point. Depending on the number of guests you plan to invite, you can consider hosting the wake at home or a public venue. Public venues like church or scout halls, social clubs, restaurants or pubs are suitable options. If you're in a location that allows it, you might even consider an outdoor setting for the wake. Remember to book the venue as soon as possible, especially if you want it to coincide with the funeral date.

Preparing the guest list

The next step in planning a wake is organising the guest list. Typically, most people who attend the funeral will also attend the wake. You can share the details of the wake at the same time as the funeral details to ensure everyone is informed. If you want a more private gathering, you can specify this when sharing the funeral details. Similarly, if you want to invite someone to the wake who either was unable to come or wasn't invited to the funeral, you'll need to send them a separate invitation.

Inviting guests to the wake

There are various ways to invite guests to the wake. You can send invitations by mail or choose to contact them via phone, email or messaging. You can also consider listing the details of the wake in the local newspaper or creating an event page or group message on Facebook. Sharing the wake details on social media can be particularly helpful for notifying guests you don't have contact information for or know personally.

The invitation should include the date, time and location of the wake. If you expect guests to bring anything to the event, such as a photo with the deceased or a special memento, make sure to mention it in the invitation.

Catering for the wake

Catering for the wake is optional and depends on the size, venue and formality of the event. Wakes are usually simple affairs, so you can consider offering simple finger foods like cakes and sandwiches or even a buffet. Serving tea and coffee is customary, so to alcoholic beverages like wine, spirits.

If you are catering for a large number of guests, you may want to consider hiring the services of a professional caterer. Although it might be more costly, it might also be less stressful at what is already an emotionally taxing time.

What happens at a Wake?

Sometimes, it's nice to arrange organised activities during the wake to remember the person who has passed in a unique way. Consider options like creating a video montage of the deceased's life or displaying photo albums. You can also provide memory jars, books, or "memory trees," light candles, or even safely release butterflies, balloons, or biodegradable lanterns.

Considering the cost

The cost of a wake can vary based on your choices. Hosting a small wake at home will be cheaper than renting a large venue and inviting a large number of people. Similarly, catering the event yourself will likely be less expensive than hiring a professional catering company. Remember, serving alcohol can also increase the overall cost. Take the time to consider how you want to allocate your budget and make choices that feel right for you.

Balancing the wake and funeral

Some families choose to focus their attention and funds on the funeral itself and keep the wake a simpler event. Others prefer to do the opposite, arranging a direct cremation or simple funeral service and investing more time and money into the wake. There's no right or wrong approach, and it's essential to make decisions based on your personal preferences and available budget. And remember, the amount you spend on funeral arrangements doesn't reflect how much your loved one meant to you.

Organising a wake for your loved one is a deeply emotional experience. It's a way to connect with others and bid farewell in a meaningful manner. Remember, there are no strict rules to follow when planning a wake. The size or expense of the event doesn't make it any more or less significant. If you need assistance with organising a direct cremation, the compassionate team at Willed can help. Their dedicated funeral arrangers will take care of everything, allowing you to focus on what matters most during this challenging time.