Funerals, memorials and wakes. What’s the difference?

When you find yourself faced with the task of planning an event to commemorate a loved one who has passed away, it can be a challenging and emotional journey.    

In Australia, there are various ways to celebrate a person's life and it's important to understand the distinctions between funerals, memorials and wakes to create a meaningful celebration of life for your loved one.   In this guide, we'll walk you through the differences to help you make informed decisions during this challenging time.

Funerals: A time - honoured tradition 

Funerals are the most well-known and traditional way to say goodbye to a loved one. They typically occur within a few days of the person's passing. Here's what you need to know:  

• Purpose

Funerals serve as a formal gathering to remember, mourn and pay respects to the deceased. They often include religious or spiritual elements, such as prayers, hymns, or sermons.

• Location 

Funerals are usually held at a church, chapel, crematorium or cemetery. The location often depends on the family's religious or cultural preferences.

• Atmosphere

Funerals tend to be sombre occasions, with attendees dressed in formal attire. They are focused on acknowledging the loss and providing closure to grieving friends and family members.  

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Memorials: A personal tribute 

Memorials are a more flexible option for celebrating a loved one's life. They can take place weeks or even months after the person's passing. What you should consider:

• Purpose

Memorials are all about celebrating the life and achievements of the deceased. They can be customised to reflect the person's personality, hobbies and passions.

• Location 

Memorials can be held almost anywhere, from a park or beach to a community centre or the family's home. The choice of location often reflects the person's interests.

• Atmosphere

Memorials have a more relaxed and personalised atmosphere compared to funerals. Guests are encouraged to share stories, memories and anecdotes that highlight the person's life.

Wakes: A gathering support

Wakes are a common practice in Australia and are often held after a funeral or memorial service. They provide an opportunity for family and friends to come together and offer support to one another. 

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• Purpose

Wakes are less about formalities and more about providing a space for people to gather, console one another and share their grief and memories. They can be a comforting way to transition from the sadness of a funeral or memorial to a more positive celebration of life.

• Location 

Wakes can be held in various settings, including a family home, a hired venue or local pub or club. The choice of location should align with the deceased person's preferences and the family's comfort.

• Atmosphere

Wakes tend to be less structured and more relaxed. It's a time to eat, drink and remember the person in a casual and supportive environment.  

Whether you are organising a funeral, memorial or a wake, the key is to create an event that captures the essence of the person you're commemorating. In doing so, you can ensure that your loved one is remembered and celebrated in a way that truly reflects their unique journey through life.