We all encounter moments of immense grief and sorrow, it's part of the human experience and sharing these moments together can help support the grieving to feel less alone. In this guide, we'll explore ways to show comfort and empathy to a grieving person, offering valuable support and advice.

Whether you're a friend, family member or colleague, we hope these strategies will help you navigate the difficult terrain of grief and be a comforting presence during a trying time.

What does it mean to share grief? 

Grief is a deeply personal journey involving a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, confusion and it affects individuals differently. Grief is a natural process that enables people to cope with their loss, remember and honour what they've lost and ultimately find a way to move forward in their lives. It's important to provide support and empathy to yourself and others who are grieving, as it can be a challenging and painful journey.

Be a shoulder to lean on

The first and most important step in offering support is simply being present. Sometimes, a grieving person may not need words or advice, but a comforting presence. Letting them know you are there for them, ready to listen and willing to lend a shoulder to lean on. Your mere presence can bring immense comfort to them but also yourself. 

Active listening

Encourage the grieving person to express their thoughts, feelings and memories with you. Avoid interrupting or giving unsolicited advice. Instead, be patient and attentive, allowing them to share their story at their own pace. Your empathetic ear can be a source of solace.

Empathise and validate feelings

During grief, emotions can be overwhelming. Make an effort to empathise with the person's feelings and validate their experiences. Say something like, "I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but know that I'm here for you." This demonstrates your understanding and shows that their feelings are valid.

Offer practical help

Grief can make even daily tasks seem insurmountable. Offer to assist with practical matters, such as cooking, cleaning or running errands. By lightening their workload, you provide valuable support and allow them to focus on healing.  

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Share memories by celebrating their life

Remember that grief isn't just about sadness; it's also an opportunity to celebrate the life of the person who has passed away. Share your favourite memories of them and encourage the grieving person to do the same. This can bring comfort and positive reminiscences during a difficult time for you both. 

Respect their space

While being there for your grieving friend or family member is crucial, it's equally important to respect their need for solitude. Grief can be overwhelming and sometimes people need time to process their emotions alone. Offer your support and presence, but understand if they need space.

Grief knows no timetable

Grief doesn't follow a schedule. Be patient with the grieving person and understand that healing takes time. They may experience moments of sadness or anger long after the initial loss. Continue to be a source of support throughout their journey.

Offer resources

If you sense that the grieving person is struggling to cope, gently suggest seeking professional help. Grief counselling and support groups can be beneficial in the healing process. Let them know that it's okay to ask for assistance.  

Express your condolences

A heartfelt message can provide comfort and let the grieving person know you care. You might say something like:  "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time and sending you love and support." A simple message can go a long way in showing your care and concern.

Stay in touch

After the initial shock and grief, it's easy for people to fade into the background. However, it's important to continue being there for the grieving person in the long term. Grief doesn't have an expiry date and your support is valuable throughout their journey.  

In times of grief, your support and empathy can make a significant difference in the life of someone who is hurting. Remember that each person's grief is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to offering comfort. The key is to be sincere, patient, and compassionate. As you help another, ensure you are also helping yourself by connecting through your memories, support and communicating on your personal journey of healing. 

To find support:      

Beyond Blue provides Australians with information and support to improve their mental health. Call 1300 22 46 36 or visit beyondblue.org.au for more information.      

Lifeline Australia provides Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au for more information.      

GriefLine listens, cares and supports people experiencing loss and grief, at any stage in life. Call 1300 845 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.      

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours / 7 days a week.      

Kids Helpline is a free 24/7, confidential and private counselling service Australia wide specifically for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Call 1800 55 1800.      

Life Supports Counselling provides Australians with experienced counsellors & psychologists in their local area Australia-wide. Call 1300 735