How do you survive grief on holidays?

Holidays are meant to be a time of joy, celebration and togetherness. But when you're grieving the loss of a loved one, these festive occasions can become a source of deep sadness and emotional uncertainty . If you find yourself grappling with grief during holidays, know that you're not alone.  

In this article, we'll provide you with valuable support and advice to help you navigate this challenging time.

Acknowledge your feelings

The first step in coping with grief during holidays is to acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel sad and it's natural to miss the person you've lost, especially during special occasions. Suppressing your emotions won't make the pain go away. Understand that it's okay to not feel as joyful as others around you, and allow yourself the space to process your emotions.

Plan ahead

Planning ahead can be a powerful tool in managing your grief during holidays. Consider your triggers and emotions and prepare accordingly. You might decide to skip certain events, limit your time at gatherings, or create new traditions that honour your loved one's memory. Having a plan in place can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Lean on your support system 

During this difficult time, lean on your support system. Reach out to friends and family members who understand your grief and can offer a listening ear or a comforting presence. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can be incredibly healing. Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it; people who care about you want to provide support.

Create a tribute 

Honouring your loved one's memory can bring comfort during the holidays. Consider creating a tribute or memorial activity that holds special meaning for you. This could be lighting a candle, displaying a photo, or sharing stories about your loved one. Doing so can help you feel their presence and keep their memory alive.

Self-care

Taking care of yourself is essential, especially during times of grief. Ensure you're getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. 

Set realistic expectations

Set realistic expectations for yourself during holidays while grieving. Understand that you may not have the energy or desire to participate in every holiday tradition, and that's perfectly okay. Be gentle with yourself and focus on what feels manageable and meaningful to you.

Seek professional support

If you find that your grief is overwhelming and affecting your daily life, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Grief counselling or therapy can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your loss and navigate holidays.   

Connect with support groups

Joining a grief support group can be a valuable resource during the holidays. These groups provide a safe space to share your feelings and experiences with others who have faced similar losses. Connecting with people who understand your pain can help you feel less isolated and alone.  

RELATED ARTICLE: Why grief support groups are so important

Embrace new traditions

Creating new holiday traditions can be a positive way to cope with grief. While it's essential to honour old traditions, incorporating new ones can help you move forward. These new rituals can symbolise hope, growth, and your ability to adapt to life without your loved one.

Remember your loved one

Whether it's through a heartfelt toast, a special ornament, or simply sharing stories, find meaningful ways to include your loved one in your holiday celebrations.

Emotions can be overwhelming

You might experience sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of happiness that catch you off guard. Emotions come and go in waves, and it's entirely normal to have mixed feelings during this time.

Reach out for help

Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Your friends and family may not always know how to support you, so be open about your feelings. Often, people want to be supportive but aren't sure how to approach the subject.

Balancing old and new tradition 

Finding a balance between old and new traditions can be challenging. While it's essential to preserve the memory of your loved one, you can heal by creating a space for new experiences and connections. Consider starting a new tradition that reflects your current circumstances and allows for growth and healing.  

RELATED ARTICLE: Rituals and traditions: A path to healing through grief

Memorial activities 

Memorial activities can be a powerful way to remember your loved one during the holidays. Create a scrapbook of memories, or make a donation in their name to a cause they cared about. These actions can provide a sense of closure and a way to channel your grief into something positive.

Taking time for yourself 

During the holidays, take time out for yourself. If you need a break from the festivities, don't hesitate to excuse yourself and spend some quiet moments alone. This self-care time can help you recharge and process your emotions, preventing burnout and overwhelming sadness.

Remember the power of gratitude 

While grief is a challenging and painful experience, it can also remind us of the importance of gratitude. Take moments to appreciate the love and support you have from friends and family. Even in the midst of sorrow, you can find moments of joy and connection.  

Navigating grief during holidays can be incredibly challenging. Reach out for help when needed, and communicate your needs with your loved ones. Balancing old and new traditions can bring comfort and growth, while memorial activities provide a beautiful way to honour your loved one's memory. Ultimately, by remembering your loved one, you can find a way to survive grief during holidays and move forward with hope in your heart.

To find support:    

Beyond Blue provides Australians with information and support to improve their mental health. Call 1300 22 46 36 or visit beyondblue.org.au for more information.    

Lifeline Australia provides Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au for more information.    

GriefLine listens, cares and supports people experiencing loss and grief, at any stage in life. Call 1300 845 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.    

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours / 7 days a week.    

Kids Helpline is a free 24/7, confidential and private counselling service Australia wide specifically for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Call 1800 55 1800.    

Life Supports Counselling provides Australians with experienced counsellors & psychologists in their local area Australia-wide. Call 1300 735