How to get through New Years when you are grieving

The arrival of a New Year is a time of joy, reflection and celebration. When you're facing your first New Year's without your loved one, it can be an incredibly challenging and emotional experience. Grief has a way of intensifying during holidays and special occasions, making it important to seek support and advice on how to navigate this difficult time.   

In this article, we'll provide you with heartfelt guidance and practical suggestions to help you cope with the pain and find moments of solace during your first New Year's without your loved one.

Understanding your grief

Grief is a unique and individual journey. No two people experience it in exactly the same way. During your first New Year's without your loved one, you may feel a complex mix of emotions, such as sadness, anger, loneliness and even guilt.   

Here's how you can begin to understand and cope with your grief:

Allow yourself to feel 

It's okay to feel a wide range of emotions. Don't suppress them; instead, allow yourself to experience them as they come. Understand that grieving is a natural response to loss.

Don't rush the process  

Grief doesn't follow a specific timeline. Some days will be harder than others and that's normal. Be patient with yourself and don't expect to feel better overnight.

Seek support and connection 

During this challenging time, reaching out for support and connection is essential. You don't have to go through your grief alone.

Talk about your loved one

Share stories and memories of your loved one with friends and family. Talking about them can be a healing experience and help keep their memory alive.

Join support groups 

Consider joining a grief support group in your community or online. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can provide comfort and understanding.

Honouring and celebrating memories 

While your loved one may no longer be physically present, you can still find meaningful ways to honour their memory on New Year's Eve.

Create a memory jar 

Write down your favourite memories, quotes, or messages to your loved one on pieces of paper throughout the year. On New Year's Eve, read them aloud as a way to remember and celebrate their life.

Light a candle 

Lighting a candle in your loved one's memory can be a powerful and symbolic gesture. It symbolises the light they brought into your life.

Self-care and coping strategies: 

Taking care of yourself during this challenging time is crucial. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:

Set realistic expectation 

Understand that your first New Year's without your loved one may not be a joyous celebration. It's okay to have a quiet evening or opt-out of traditional festivities if that's what feels right for you.

Practice mindfulness 

Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and manage overwhelming emotions.

RELATED ARTICLE: Tips to help with stress and anxiety when grieving

Write a letter 

Consider writing a letter to your loved one, expressing your feelings and the things you wish you could say. This can be a therapeutic way to cope with grief.

Surround yourself with supportive people: 

Your friends and family can provide a significant source of comfort during this time.

Communicate your needs 

Let your loved ones know how they can support you. Whether it's a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, open communication is key.

Plan ahead 

If you'd like to spend New Year's Eve with someone who understands your grief, make plans in advance to ensure you won't be alone.

Create new traditions 

While it may be challenging to engage in old traditions without your loved one, consider creating new ones to help you move forward.

Start a New Year's ritual 

Begin a new tradition that honours both your past and your future. This could involve setting intentions, planting a tree, or participating in an activity your loved one enjoyed.

Explore new beginnings 

While grieving the loss of your loved one, it's important to remember that the new year also symbolises fresh beginnings. Even amidst the pain, you can find opportunities for personal growth and positive change.

RELATED ARTICLE: Rituals and traditions: A path to healing through grief

Set small goals

Consider setting achievable goals for the year ahead. These goals can provide a sense of purpose and motivation to move forward. Start with small, manageable steps that align with your intentions.

Practice self-compassion 

Be gentle with yourself as you navigate through your grief. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing a similar situation.

Attend a ceremony 

Many communities host memorial or candlelight ceremonies on New Year's Eve. Participating in such an event can create a sense of unity and spiritual connection.

Meditation and prayer 

Spend time in quiet contemplation, meditation, or prayer to find inner peace and strength. These practices can help you feel connected to something greater than yourself.  

Coping with your first New Year's without your loved one is undoubtedly a difficult journey. By understanding your grief, seeking support and connection, honouring memories, practising self-care, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can find the strength to navigate this emotional time.      

To find support:  

Beyond Blue provides Australians with information and support to improve their mental health. Call 1300 22 46 36 or visit beyondblue.org.au for more information.    

Lifeline Australia provides Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au for more information.    

GriefLine listens, cares and supports people experiencing loss and grief, at any stage in life. Call 1300 845 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.    

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours / 7 days a week.    

Kids Helpline is a free 24/7, confidential and private counselling service Australia wide specifically for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Call 1800 55 1800.    

Life Supports Counselling provides Australians with experienced counsellors & psychologists in their local area Australia-wide. Call 1300 735