How to plan a memorial

A memorial is a gathering of family and friends wishing to pay their respects to the deceased. A memorial is less formal than a funeral service and offers the bereaved an opportunity to join together to share stories and memories and celebrate the life of their loved one. 

When is the right time to hold a memorial?

People believe they need to plan a funeral or memorial within a certain timeframe, when really you can choose when you would like the memorial to be. You can choose a time when you're not feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Whatever your choice may be it will be the right one for you, the ones closest to you and your loved one.

A memorial can be as formal or casual as you like. Many people today are choosing to have a celebration of life ceremony filled with joy and celebrating the memories shared with one another. A memorial or celebration of life can be small and intimate or large gatherings. Once you have chosen the style you would like to host and the number of guests, you can then decide on location, venue, catering and the order of proceedings. 

Choosing a location

Depending on the number of guests, you can hold the memorial at home or in a public venue. You may choose to stay in your local community or decide to have the memorial at your loved one's favourite place. Decide if you would like an indoor or outdoor memorial.

Location ideas include.

• Halls
• Social clubs
• Restaurants
• Parks
• Beaches 
• Botanical gardens
• Boat or yacht
• Family members house

  RELATED ARTICLE: Celebration of Life Checklist 

How to invite guests to the memorial

Once the location and venue has been booked next is to write a guest list. If you're having a small intimate gathering you can send invitations through phone message, email or create a private event or group on Facebook.

Having the event details on Facebook is a great way to update guests leading up to the memorial or on the day. You can also have guests click "attending" or "not attending" therefore you'll be able to organise catering based on who's coming.

If you have a large guest list, Facebook and publishing a Funeral notice in the newspaper or through your funeral director are great methods to invite guests to the memorial. Announcing the memorial details on Facebook is a way to let people know the details, especially the ones who are acquaintances and would like to attend.

On your invite details you need to let guests know if they are expected to bring anything to the memorial. You might want them to bring a photo or a memento of them and the deceased which you can make into a memory book or capsule. You might like to ask people to write down a special memory and share with other guests.

If you would like guests to come in a certain dress code, write it down on the invite. You might ask guests to wear something bright or the deceased favourite colour or football team colours. 

Catering services

Depending on location and guest size you may choose to outsource catering. For a small guest list you can have refreshments and finger food. This can be sandwiches, cakes, quiches to be served with coffee, tea and soft drinks. Decide whether you would like alcoholic beverages including wine, spirits and beer.

If you have a large guest list you may find it helpful to hire professional caters. This depends if the costs work within your budget however you may find this less overwhelming than doing the food yourself. 

Memorial proceedings

You can choose how the memorial will run and what activities you have planned for the guests. Suggestions for activities can be; asking guests to share a special memory, asking guests to bring a photo to add to a memory album, plant a memorial tree, light candles and write in a memory book. 

How expensive is planning a memorial? 

The cost of a memorial varies depending on the location, guest size, catering and decorations. When it comes to budgeting the memorial, it's up to you and how much you have set aside.

Hosting a private memorial in the comfort of your home will reduce costs and will be less expensive than venue hire. Catering the memorial yourself will be less costly then hiring a catering service. Sticking to tea, coffee and light refreshments will significantly decrease the cost instead of serving alcoholic beverages.

Planning a memorial for your loved one can be overwhelming and challenging to face. Remember there is no right or wrong decision when to hold the memorial, what you would like to incorporate or what your budget is - nothing will make it more or less meaningful. It's your personal choice and what your loved one would have wanted.

Whatever memorial style and size you decide, it's important to remember that if your budget can only accommodate particular arrangements it's not a reflection on how much your loved one meant to you.

A memorial is one of the many ways to connect with others who knew your loved one to say goodbye. It's the thought and symbolic meaning and memories shared during the memorial that matters.