How to write a really good eulogy

As you navigate through the grieving process, you might find yourself tasked with writing a eulogy. Serving as a heartfelt tribute, a eulogy allows us to share memories and celebrate the life of a loved one.

In this article, we will do our best to guide you through the process of writing a meaningful eulogy that both honours your loved one's memory and provides connection and comfort to those in attendance.

Connecting with memories

• Allow yourself to feel the sadness of grief, but also find comfort in the memories you shared.
• Recall moments that highlight your loved one's character, values and impact on others.
• If your loved one had expressed any preferences for the eulogy, honour those wishes.

Structuring your eulogy

• Opening: Begin with a warm and sincere introduction, acknowledging the significance of the occasion.
• Personal stories: Share heartfelt stories that capture the essence of your loved one, sharing their unique qualities and accomplishments.
• Themes and values: Discuss the values and beliefs your loved one held dear, emphasising their impact on the people around them.
• Lessons learned: Reflect on the lessons you've gained from their life, highlighting their influence on your own personal growth.
• Closing: End your eulogy with a message of love, gratitude and remembrance, offering support to those mourning the loss.  

Setting the tone and language

• Write from the heart, using your own words and experiences to create an authentic and personal tribute.
• Address the audience directly, making them feel involved and connected to your loved one's memory.
• Balance the solemnity of the occasion with moments of lightness and humour, if you feel it appropriate to do so.
• Avoid clichés, strive instead for originality, focusing on unique aspects of your loved one's life that will resonate with family and friends.
• Practice reading your eulogy aloud to ensure it flows well and is cohesive, making any necessary revisions.

Honouring their legacy 

• Acknowledge and include the different aspects of your loved one's life, such as their family, friends, career, hobbies and community involvement.
• If appropriate, ask family members and close friends for their input or any particular memories they would like you to include.
• Respect any cultural or religious traditions that may influence the content and delivery of the eulogy.
• Recognise the emotions of those in attendance, offering words of comfort and reassurance throughout your eulogy.

Eulogy example

We have provided a eulogy example below to help inspire you to write yours.  Please note, this example is fictional and created for supportive purposes only, Vincent Smith is not a real person. However, the sentiments expressed in the eulogy are sincere and can inspire heartfelt tributes to honour your own loved one's memory.

In loving memory of Vincent Smith

Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we gather here today to celebrate the life of Vincent Smith, a man who left an indelible mark on all who had the privilege of knowing him. As we reflect upon the beautiful tapestry of memories he wove, let us honour his legacy of love, kindness and his unwavering commitment to his family, community and the passions that brought him joy.  

Vincent's love for his family

Vincent was not only an audiologist by profession but also a devoted father to four children (names) and a cherished grandfather to seven grandchildren (names). Family was the cornerstone of his life, and he found immeasurable joy in sharing his love, wisdom and support with each and every one of them. He taught us the importance of cherishing the bonds we share, creating a strong foundation of love and unity that will endure through the generations.

Sailing enthusiast and Stradbroke Island adventures

One of Vincent's greatest passions was sailing. The wind in his hair, the sound of waves crashing against the boat, and the serenity of the open sea brought him a sense of freedom and tranquillity. His favourite retreat was Stradbroke Island, where he would gather his loved ones for unforgettable holidays filled with laughter, beach adventures, and precious moments that would forever be etched in our hearts. Vincent knew how to bring people together and create lasting memories that would carry us through both the calm and stormy seas of life.  

A green thumb and a heart of service

Beyond his professional and recreational pursuits, Vincent's giving spirit extended to those in need. He selflessly volunteered at the local nursing home, bringing comfort, companionship, and a listening ear to the elderly residents at St Vincent's Homecare who craved connection. Vincent's warm smile and compassionate heart provided solace to those who needed it most. Additionally, he had a green thumb, finding joy in the beauty of gardening. His hands would lovingly nurture his favourite orchards and lush ferns, a reflection of the care and nurturing he bestowed upon all those he held dear.

A good samaritan

Vincent embodied the essence of a good Samaritan, always willing to lend a helping hand without expecting anything in return. Whether it was offering a shoulder to lean on during times of hardship, extending a kind word to brighten someone's day, or going the extra mile to make a positive impact in his community, Vincent's kindness was the cornerstone of his character. He inspired us to be better, to look beyond ourselves, and to embrace the power of selflessness in an often self-absorbed world.  

Final farewell

Today, as we bid farewell to Vincent Smith, let us carry forward the lessons he taught us through his life. Let us honour his memory by embracing the love he showered upon us, cherishing the moments we shared, and nurturing the seeds of compassion he planted within our hearts. Vincent's legacy will forever resonate through the lives he touched, reminding us to be kind, to embrace the beauty of nature, and to find solace in the company of those we hold dear. Farewell, dear Vincent, may your soul find eternal peace, and may your spirit guide us in living lives filled with harmony and compassion.

Writing a eulogy is the best opportunity to honour and remember someone you loved who has passed away. By reflecting on your relationship, structuring your eulogy with care, using sincere language and being inclusive and sensitive, you can create a meaningful tribute that celebrates their life and provides comfort to those who are grieving. Remember, your eulogy is a gift to both you, your loved one and everyone who is present, offering comfort and support during this incredibly difficult time.