Mindfulness for Grief

"Mindfulness lets you expand your view by placing you on the middle ground between denying your pain and overindulging in your suffering…You stay in contact with the entire scope of your existence and you experience grief without becoming grief itself"  - Heather Stang 

It's natural for people to avoid pain and suffering when we lose someone we love. The loss and the hole they leave behind becomes part of our life and our journey.

Practising mindfulness is a way to ground ourselves in the midst of powerful, overwhelming emotions that exhaust the body and mind. We need to allow ourselves to feel all the emotions that accompany grief to allow ourselves to heal.Mindfulness can help support a person going through grief, loss, anxiety, depression, chronic pain or everyday stress as they learn to adapt and cope.

People going through tough times often feel lost or outside of themselves, like nothing is the same. To be mindful is to become aware of your current emotions, thoughts and sensations and create a safe space.

Research shows mindfulness can help reduce stress, increase emotional resilience, improve sleep, become more aware and discover new meaning after suffering grief or experiencing trauma. Mindfulness practices include mindful breathing, meditation, writing and walking. Read below to learn more about each technique and how to apply them to your life.   

Mindful Meditation

Meditation, also known as savasana in yoga, is a way of developing a natural state of mindfulness by sitting in our thoughts and feelings. It allows us to pay attention to what we are feeling at the present moment. We create a safe space for acceptance and belonging connecting to our body and mind.

Mindful meditation has been practised for centuries as a tool that can help with depression, anxiety, smoking, self esteem, chronic pain and grief. To practise mindful meditation find a quiet space with minimal distractions, you can sit or lie down. Set a timer on your phone and start with 5 to 10 minutes of meditation each day.

Once you're in your quiet space focus your awareness on any sensation of the body such as your breath, posture and thoughts. The mind will wander while meditating often to strong emotions like anxiety or sadness. When this happens acknowledge and accept those thoughts, then refocus your mind back into the sensations of your body and breath.  

Mindful Breathing

Mindful breathing is an effective technique to help calm the mind and body. If you are experiencing anxiety and tension throughout your body, by focusing on your breath it can help slow down the nervous system. Yoga, meditation and other relaxation techniques are all aspects of breathwork. By becoming aware of inhaling and exhaling your breath throughout the body, your mind and body will start to shift to a calmer state. Mindful breathing can help reduce stress, lower heart rate, lower blood pressure and reduce anxiety.

Try to do mindful breathing techniques 5 -10 minutes a day. Start by slowing your breath down, inhaling for a count of 4, exhaling for a count of 4 and repeat for 5 rounds. There are also many podcasts and apps that can help with guided mindful breathing.   

Mindful Walking

Mindful walking can be techniques such as walking in nature, going on a hike or stepping outside in your backyard. Walking meditation involves either focusing on the sensation of your feet as you walk on the ground or bringing your awareness to the sounds outside like birds chirping and the wind blowing.   

Mindful Writing

Similar to meditation, journaling is a powerful tool and allows us to acknowledge current feelings and thoughts by putting pen to paper. Other writing techniques can be poems or song writing that can bring intentionality to your feelings and emotions.

Research shows mindful writing for grief and loss has therapeutic value and allows personal space to heal, whether or not we're ready to express how you feel to others. Mindful writing has the benefit of preserving thoughts for deeper reflection when reading at a later time.  

Attend a Workshop

Yoga studios, meditation programs and counselling centres all practice mindfulness. The benefits of live classes is that the teacher can customise the practice for individuals, understand their situation and work with them on goals and challenges. Many people prefer surrounding themselves with individuals in similar situations as they feel comfortable therefore can help maintain a mindful and meditative state.

Healing from experiencing grief, loss and trauma can be assisted with various mindfulness practices. Through mindfulness we learn to live in the present, we change and adapt to life and settle at a place where we can learn to hold on to the memories and be at peace. Be gentle and kind to yourself, we can't speed up the healing process as the road to acceptance takes time.

It's always advisable to contact a health professional for more assistance. 

By Alana Dintinosante

To find support:

Beyond Blue provides Australians with information and support to improve their mental health. Call 1300 22 46 36 or visit beyondblue.org.au for more information.

Lifeline Australia provides Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au for more information.

GriefLine listens, cares and supports people experiencing loss and grief, at any stage in life. Call 1300 845... , 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours / 7 days a week.

Kids Helpline is a free 24/7, confidential and private counselling service Australia wide specifically for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Call 1800 55 1800.

Life Supports Counselling provides Australians with experienced counsellors & psychologists in their local area Australia-wide. Call 1300 735... .

Headspace - Meditation for Grief