As you navigate the grieving process, you may come across two common terms: eulogy and obituary. While both are related to memorialising the deceased, they have their own purpose and are used in different contexts.   

In this article, we will explore the difference between a eulogy and an obituary, helping you understand their unique roles in honouring the memory of your loved one.

What is an obituary?

An obituary is a written announcement or notice of a person's death. It is published in newspapers or online and serves as a formal announcement of a person's passing . An obituary includes basic information about the deceased, such as their name, age, date of birth, date of death and details about the funeral or memorial service. It provides information about the person's family, background, accomplishments and contributions to the community.

Obituaries are usually written in a factual and formal tone, providing essential details about the deceased's life and death.

The purpose of an obituary

The main purpose of an obituary is to inform the public about the death of an individual and provide details about the upcoming funeral or memorial service. It serves as an announcement that allows family and friends to inform others about the passing of their loved one. Obituaries also serve as a historical record, documenting the life and death of the deceased for future generations.   

Obituaries may also express gratitude to caregivers, acknowledge donations or charitable contributions made in the deceased's memory and provide information about memorial funds or other ways to honour the person's legacy.

Writing an obituary 

When writing an obituary, it's important to be accurate and respectful. Here are some tips to keep in mind. 

Be factual

Include essential information about the deceased, such as their full name, age, date of birth and date of death. Verify all the details before publishing the obituary.

Be concise

Focus on the most important details about the person's life and death. Stick to the facts and avoid unnecessary details.

Use appropriate language 

Obituaries are written in a formal tone therefore respectful and dignified language is necessary. Avoid slang or colloquialisms (words or phrases that are not formal) that may not be suitable for a formal announcement.

Include relevant details

Provide information about the funeral or memorial service, including the date, time, and location. You can also mention any specific requests made by the deceased or their family, such as donations or other ways to honour their memory.

Consider the deceased's personality and interests

If appropriate, include information about the person's background, accomplishments, hobbies and contributions to the community. This can help paint a complete picture of a person's life.  

RELATED ARTICLE: Writing your own obituary

What is an eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or tribute given at a funeral or memorial service to honour and remember the deceased. A eulogy is usually delivered by a close family member or friend and provides a more personal and emotional reflection on the life of the person who has passed away. Eulogies often include anecdotes, stories and memories highlighting the individual's personality, character, achievements and impact on others.

The purpose of a eulogy

A eulogy allows the speaker to share their personal reflections, memories and emotions with the gathered mourners and provides comfort and solace during a difficult time. Eulogies also offer an opportunity to celebrate the life and achievements of the deceased, providing a meaningful and memorable tribute to their legacy. Eulogies can also help bring closure to the grieving process by providing a platform for expressing emotions, memories, and gratitude.

Writing a eulogy

Writing a eulogy can be a challenging and emotional task.  Here are some tips to help you compose a heartfelt and meaningful eulogy. 

Reflect on your relationship

Consider your personal relationship with the deceased and the memories you shared. Consider their personality, character, achievements and impact on your life and others. Reflect on the positive qualities that made them unique and special.

Be authentic 

Be genuine and speak from the heart. Share your own emotions, memories and experiences with the deceased. Avoid cliches or generic statements and instead focus on personal stories that truly reflect the person's life and personality.

Consider your audience 

Keep in mind the audience that will be present at the funeral or memorial service. Be sensitive to their emotions and choose words and stories that are appropriate for the occasion. Consider the beliefs, culture and traditions of the deceased and their family when crafting your eulogy.

Practice and prepare

Practice your eulogy beforehand to ensure that you can deliver it confidently and clearly. Time yourself to ensure that your speech fits within the allotted time frame. Have a printed copy of your eulogy with you during the service as a reference and be prepared for the possibility of becoming emotional while delivering the speech.

Include gratitude 

Express gratitude for the time, memories and lessons shared with the deceased. Thank the deceased for the impact they had on your life and the lives of others. Acknowledge the support and love of family and friends during this difficult time.

Honour the deceased's wishes 

If the deceased had specific requests or wishes regarding their funeral or memorial service, make sure to honour them in your eulogy. This could include reading a favourite poem, sharing a specific message, or mentioning charitable causes close to their heart.

Seek support

Writing and delivering a eulogy can be emotionally challenging. Don't hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or a professional if needed. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and having someone to confide in can help you process your emotions and thoughts.  

RELATED ARTICLE: How to write a eulogy

The difference between a eulogy and an obituary

While both eulogies and obituaries are ways to honour and remember the deceased, they serve different purposes and have distinct characteristics.

A eulogy is a spoken tribute that is delivered at a funeral or memorial service, typically by a close family member or friend. It is personal, emotional, and provides stories that reflect the life and impact of the deceased.  

An obituary is a written announcement of a person's death that is published in newspapers or online. It is more factual, providing information about the person's life, achievements, and surviving family members.  

Both eulogies and obituaries have their unique importance and serve as meaningful ways to remember and honour the life of a loved one. Together, they provide a heartfelt tribute to the deceased, capturing both the factual and emotional aspects of their life, allowing their memory to live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved them most. 

To find support:

Beyond Blue provides Australians with information and support to improve their mental health. Call 1300 22 46 36 or visit beyondblue.org.au for more information.

Lifeline Australia provides Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au for more information.

GriefLine listens, cares and supports people experiencing loss and grief, at any stage in life. Call 1300 845 6am to midnight AEST, 7 days a week.

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours / 7 days a week.

Kids Helpline is a free 24/7, confidential and private counselling service Australia wide specifically for children and young people aged 5 to 25 years. Call 1800 55 1800.

Life Supports Counselling provides Australians with experienced counsellors & psychologists in their local area Australia-wide. Call 1300 735... .