Who writes the eulogy for a funeral?

As you navigate the emotional journey of planning a funeral, one question that often arises is, "Who writes the eulogy?". In this guide we will provide you with information about the role of the eulogy, who typically writes it and how you can craft a heartfelt tribute that truly honours your loved one.

Understanding the eulogy

A eulogy is a powerful and essential part of a funeral, celebration of life or memorial service. The heartfelt speech that celebrates the life, character and accomplishments of a person  also provides an opportunity to share stories, memories and reflections, offering comfort and closure to those grieving the loss of a loved one.

Who typically writes the eulogy?

Family members and close friends

The task of writing a eulogy usually falls to family members or close friends who were intimately connected with the departed. This is because they have unique insights into the person's life, personality and experiences, making them ideally suited to craft a meaningful tribute.

Professional eulogists

In some cases, families may enlist the help from professional eulogy service or celebrants. These individuals are skilled at creating eulogies that capture the essence of the deceased, even if they did not personally know the person. Professional eulogy persons work closely with the family to gather information and create a fitting tribute.

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What not to say in a eulogy

When writing a eulogy, it's important to be mindful of what not to say as well. Avoid discussing controversial or negative topics and refrain from sharing any personal grievances or family disputes you may have had with the deceased. They are no longer there to defend themselves, and it becomes a rather disrespectful act to do so. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the person's life and their legacy, leaving a warm and respectful impression on those in attendance.

Tips for writing a heartfelt eulogy

Reflect on memories

Start by reminiscing about the special moments, shared experiences and cherished memories you had with your loved one. These personal anecdotes will form the foundation of your eulogy.

Consider the deceased's values and beliefs

Think about the values, beliefs and principles that defined the person's life. Did they have a strong sense of community, a passion for a particular cause, or deeply held beliefs? Were they in the military or navy? Did they have a community or club they were involved in? Incorporate these aspects into your eulogy to paint a complete picture of who they were.

Gather stories

Reach out to other family members and friends who knew the deceased well. Ask them for stories and anecdotes that showcase the person's character, sense of humour, political or philosophical views or notable achievements. Did they have a favourite saying that reminds everyone of their character? Did they have any strong likes or dislikes? These stories will add more heart and depth to your eulogy.

Organise your thoughts

Structure your eulogy in a way that flows naturally. Consider starting with a brief introduction, followed by the body of the eulogy where you share stories and memories, and conclude with a heartfelt closing statement or message.

Express emotions honestly

Don't be afraid to express your emotions in your eulogy. It's natural to feel sadness, grief, and even joy when celebrating a life well-lived. Sharing your honest emotions can help others connect with your tribute on a deeper level.

Practice and edit

Once you've written your eulogy, practice delivering it aloud. This will help you gauge the timing and ensure that your words are both clear and heartfelt. Some people find it helpful to write the eulogy down on paper and read from the paper in front of you to practice further. Consider seeking feedback from a trusted friend or relative and be open to making any edits. 

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Whether you are a family member, a close friend, or a professional eulogy writer, remember that the goal is to celebrate the life and legacy of the departed. As you embark on this emotional journey, know that you are not alone. Take your time breath and relax, express your feelings honestly and honour the unique and beautiful life that your loved one lived. The eulogy you write will serve as a lasting testament to their memory and the love you shared, creating a little piece of history about them.