Betty Spence

Clifton Spring's Betty Spence who died last month at age 80, was farewelled by more than 150 family and friends at a service hosted by King's Funerals.

Her son Rodney Spence paid tribute to his Irish-born mum, telling guests, "Nobody knew how to love more than mum."

With the family's permission we share his moving eulogy.

 

Mum was born and raised by her grandmother in Comber, Northern Ireland, in 1942. Until she was 12 she thought her grandmother was her mother.

Their house had no electricity or running water. She lived a lonely childhood as her grandmother had a deformed face due to an earlier stroke. The children thought her grandmother was a witch, so they wouldn't bother having anything to do with mum.

Despite this, mum was deeply loved by her grandmother and that love transferred into her.

Mum left school at the age of 14 and found a job at the Comber spinning mill. When Mum was 15 her grandmother passed away, so she moved to Belfast to live with her real mother Olive.

She met my dad Dickson at a local dance and they quickly fell in love and realised they had found each other's soulmate. They married and had two boys, Rodney and Mark, in Ireland.

Mum worked at various jobs, but things in Ireland at that time were deteriorating so mum and dad made the brave decision to move the family to Australia in 1967.

Not long after arriving in Australia and staying at the Broadmeadows immigration hostel, they had all their money stolen from them. All they were left with were the clothes on their back. I was losing weight day-by-day pining after my grandparents in Ireland and not eating, so mum and dad were advised to try and get out of the camp as soon as possible.

Dad found a job at the Victorian Railways that provided a house with the job. Dad had just become a Christian and was not enjoying the work environment, as he didn't frequent the pub life culture like all the other workers.

Through some Irish relatives they found a rental house in Footscray and Dad moved to a job at a factory providing printing ink. Mum found work at various places, but they struggled for a time financially to get through.

The family then moved to St Andrews Church in Footscray and took on the role of caretakers of the church. During that time, they had their third child, Andrew, in 1970.

Shortly afterwards mum's mother Olive and her husband Reggie moved to Australia and lived with the Spence family for a while. Then mum's brother Eddie and his wife Anne also relocated to Australia from Ireland.

Mum, her mother and sister-in-law all found work at an advertising company selling advertising in charity magazines. This role was commission-based and did not provide a steady income. This also presented its own challenges.

In 1987, they finally saved enough money to afford to return to Ireland to visit family and friends. It was the first of many trips back to Ireland and provided much enjoyment.

Mum then found work as a disability carer and she soon realised that she had found the job she would love. She thrived in this role and I can remember her bringing patients to our home for Christmas as they had no family.

This generosity was also extended to friends of my own who were struggling to find accommodation and mum offered them to stay in our small, but loving home.

Unfortunately for mum she suffered an injury at work damaging her shoulder quite severely when lifting a patient. Due to this she could no longer continue doing the job she loved so much.

 Mum loved jokes and sometimes inadvertently created her own. She was attending a specialist appointment for her shoulder injury at Footscray Hospital, when on returning to the car where dad was waiting in for her, she said to him, `I finally know what's wrong with my shoulder.' He asked what was wrong and mum said, `I have a hoof.' Dad said,`A hoof? Don't you mean a spur?' Mum said, `I knew it had something to do with a horse.'

One day mum and dad were sitting around the table with some friends and the conversation came up about body ailments. Someone mentioned the stomach and mum butted-in saying, `It's no wonder we have stomach issues, we all have 26 feet of testicles in there.'

Dad retired in 1998. They both moved to Clifton Springs and were thrilled to purchase their very first home. Shortly after, they found and fell in love with the church that we are in today.

Dad was leading a service at the church one day and the organist for some reason couldn't attend, so the service had to proceed without music. At the completion of the service mum said to dad, 'That will never happen to you again.' As she only knew how to play a few basic notes on the organ, she decided the next day to increase her ability at home to a level that enabled her to play the organ in the church. That was the type of person mum was. She always had dad's back, she was his rock.

Mum found great enjoyment in taking up ten pin bowling and was awarded most improved player of the year in her second year. She loved her bingo, her art, playing the organ, her dogs, but most of all she loved my dad, her children and grandchildren and most recently, her great grandchild.

She also taught herself how to play the accordion and discovered a passion for oil painting.

Nobody knew how to love more than my mum; she loved my dad with all her heart and adored each of her children and all who were attached to them. Mum was a fighter, she had lung cancer and overcame it, she had diabetes, a heart attack and had a pacemaker inserted. Her last ten years were a fight, but she never gave up until her heart and kidneys started to fail again.

She was a lady with a simple faith and trust in her lord and we rejoice she is now at peace in his presence.

This is not goodbye mum, it's just a pause in time until we are all together again.

Originally published as 'Nobody knew how to love more than mum': son's moving tribute